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Senator Marsha “Go-Fund-Me” Blackburn Protects Kids From Chatbots, Not Billionaire Predators
The Mountain Bee — News So Exaggerated It Feels Honest
NASHVILLE, TN — Senator Marsha “Go-Fund-Me” Blackburn has found a new cause: saving America’s children from the horrors of artificial intelligence. She’s leading the charge on the Kids Online Safety Act, a bill to protect kids from robots that say bad words — while doing absolutely nothing to protect them from billionaires who did far worse.
Blackburn held a press conference warning that AI chatbots are becoming “digital predators.” She declared, “We must make sure no child is ever exposed to inappropriate material online.” Admirable words, except for the fact that she’s spent years blocking every attempt to expose real-life predators in the Epstein Files.
Because apparently, chatbots are dangerous — but private jets full of billionaires and teenage girls are just “the price of economic freedom.”
“Children deserve a duty of care,” Blackburn said. Funny, that’s the same phrase missing from her campaign finance reports. Her sudden concern for kids started right around the time she realized the Epstein donor list could one day leak through the same internet she now wants to regulate.
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She’s grilling tech companies about AI algorithms while ignoring the algorithms of hush money and campaign checks that have kept her quiet about who flew on which plane.
A law professor praised Blackburn for being “at the forefront of these issues.” And she sure is — the forefront of distraction. While she’s busy chasing imaginary chatbots through cyberspace, the real monsters are still sipping cocktails in Palm Beach.
So here’s the Blackburn Doctrine:
Chatbots saying “hello” to your kids? National emergency.
Billionaires trafficking children? “Let’s not rush to judgment.”
If hypocrisy were Wi-Fi, Marsha “Go-Fund-Me” Blackburn would have five bars.